SIM Best Dates Ever

Reader Stories

What Makes a Best Date BEST?

Even if a date doesn't turn out to solve your search for your true north, a date with certain components will be long remembered. People who are successful daters don't go on a date hoping and praying "this will be the one", because expectations like that are, more times than not, going to bring disappointment. The daters who go on a date to have an enjoyable evening, make a new friend, give as well as take, are going to find satisfaction for their time spent. Of course everyone wishes to meet the special someone, to feel sparks fly, to look into someone's eyes and know you both know "it's you!" But how many frogs will you have to kiss before that magic occurs, IF it ever does? In the meantime, date for fun, date for recreation, date for good memories. Make each and every date you have memorable. If your goals is numbers, lots of dates, you may find yourself becoming bored with the meaningless repetition of motion. Too many daters go out with the same mundane, prepared questions, a memorized joke and a forced smile.

Look, statistics prove that most first dates, especially online dates, will not end in an ongoing dating relationship so why set yourself up for disappointment? In stead, plan to spend some time with a person you don't know. Just a person, not a "potential relationship". Each person you meet is unique,  has vastly unique knowledge and experience. See what you can learn from each person you meet. Find something different about their life experience and ask them about it, learn something about their travels, their work, their readings. Find one commonality and stick to that for the duration. Near the end, if you must, throw out your top three MUST KNOWS, and see what you get. If they don't answer these questions to your liking, at least you got the disappointing information at the end of your time together. You learned something new. You had a great meal and good conversation. Don't make the date a series of inventory questions! Realize that each person has something interesting to offer your mind. You may never see this person again, but make the moments count by increasing your knowledge or understanding of what that person knows. NEVER DISCUSS PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR MARRIAGE DESIRES ON THE FIRST DATE! First of all, it's boring, second of all it's in bad taste, third of all you don't need to know this information until you've decided to see this person again.

First Dates Tips

1. Don't preplan to death. Keep it simple.
2. Don't expect more than an enjoyable evening. Greet the person as if you've known them for years.
3. Keep it Fun, simple, relaxed (no agenda) Keep it to an average time frame, UNLESS...
4. Good Conversation, not forced (natural) see communication skills Be interesting and interested!
5. Enjoyable event, atmosphere, or meal (you won't be wasting your time, if you enjoy some part of time spent)
6. Be courteous until the end.

Simple spontaneous dates with open-minded people are often the best dates. Don't go for a formal evening at the Met. Casual attire, relaxing atmosphere is the best. Don't worry about impressing the other person with too much make up, too perfect hair, best seats in the house, slick spit shined car, or ordering the correct wines with the correct dishes, etc. Be self assured. Be yourself because ultimately that IS who you are. Let things flow, be flexible, put the other person at ease by showing GENUINE interest in them. Take a walk in the park after an afternoon lunch. Prepare a picnic and stroll the beach. Take in the sunset over a blue lagoon. Choose an activity that both people will enjoy, where you are comfortable enough to kick off your shoes. A blazing fireplace in a ski resort. A museum. See event ideas.

You'll know it when you see it. If a brief lunch ends up in a long passionate discussion that lasts for hours, that could be a clue that the two of you are feeling sparks. This could end up becoming a day together, then a weekend, then a relationship. But you can't force it, you can't make it be what you want it to be, it must be a shared experience, a natural bond, a mutual understanding, almost a spiritual experience from both sides before you should EXPECT it to be more than a fun first date.

BEST DATES EVER
 FROM OUR READERS

Alison from Alaska
I know this is really uncommon so I thought I'd send it in. This was a blind date. Joe told me we were going to lunch, but he took me to the regional airport! I asked what we were doing there. "We're going to lunch in Seattle!" He was a pilot and had rented a small plane. He took me to a sky scraper that overlooked the bay and the city, we had fresh salmon and Caesars salad and, honestly, it wasn't love at first sight, but as we dated and he kept doing these surprising things for me, I fell in love with him. We were married on a sailboat at sunset in Mazatlan, Mexico! You just can't resist a guy you is charming, witty and adventurous and who thinks the sun rises in your eyes!

Joel from New Jersey
Let me first say, I don't do overweight. The minute I see flab, I scramble for the nearest door. So, I met this girl online who claimed to be "average" weight. We spoke on the phone for about fifteen minutes and I felt my toes tingling. It wasn't what she said, it was a feeling, that's all I knew. It was crazy, but I wanted this date to impress this woman. I didn't know what to do so I asked my friend. He told me to take her to Smithsville, walk along the river and ride on the carousel after a romantic dinner. When I picked her up, I felt my heart fall through my shoes. She wasn't "fat", but she wasn't the thin babes I am attracted to, Ok? She'd had a couple babies and yous know what that does to a figure. Well, I decided to focus on her smile, which I have to admit was the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen. I just didn't look at what I didn't like. I noticed how her hazel eyes twinkled and how her full lips moved. I let myself feel instead of being a judge with a gavel like usual. I listened to how the words came out of her sexy voice and I couldn't deny the attraction. I was sure I would never take her out again knowing how I am about weight, but after the walk along the river, how we clicked on so many subjects, the feel of her hand in mine, I felt "taken over" by some strange spiritual pleasure. How we laughed on that carousel. I felt like it turned only for us. It was the best date of my life, but I waited too long to call her again. She'd met someone else. I called her six months later and she was married. The one thing I learned from this was to cease the moment. When it hits you don't question and dissect all the reasons it can't work. I wish I'd gone for the gusto, but I waited too long. With that as a comparison, I don't know if I will ever be able to say, "that was a great date" again. However, I do cherish the memory. That I will always have.

Kam from Canada
This is funny, alright. She was standing on the corner of Sunset and Vine in Hollywood when I met her. She was there with her mother and little brother taking in the tourist attractions and I was living there trying to get a job with Jay Leno. I'm a writer, he's my cousin's forth cousin through marriage so I thought I had a good chance. Anyway, here was this girl standing on the corner. It was one of those times when you see someone and you think, there she is, but there is no way to actually meet her, so you let it pass, regretting it for days. Well, I had had several of those experiences in the previous week and I decided, who knows why, to not let this one get away. Alright, I didn't have a clue what to say, but I just forced mysef to walk up to her. "I know you, don't I. Yes, from Jay's show, isn't it. Are you the camera girl?" Jay who she had asked. "Jay Leno?" She busted up laughing and I laughed, too. "Your his writer, aren't you? Didn't we meet yesterday in his office?" She looked flabbergasted. Her mother and little brother had their mouths open. She lowered her eyes and said "No. I wish it was me, but no, I'm just here visiting." I stood back and looked at her incredulously. "Astounding resemblance. You'll have to come to the show with me. Maybe I can introduce you to your twin!" I knew good and well that I'd be lucky to get a ticket to be in the audience of the show, and certainly I'd never be able to introduce her to anyone, still, she was so beautiful I just let myself get into this trap, hoping somehow I could get to know her. You can't imaging how surprised I was when she agreed to go if I could get her mother and little brother in also. Don't even ask me how I managed these tickets, but the next day I took her and her family to the Jay Leno Show! I know this isn't really a typical "first date" story, but you'll never believe this. We are engaged! We'll be married this June! Sometimes it pays to be bold and outlandish. We are so happy! - even though I didn't get that job!

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